what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
