New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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