This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
