dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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