# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
