my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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