I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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