You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
