This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
