I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
