He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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