Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize