dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
