yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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