like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
