You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
