i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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