Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I fill condoms, not promises.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
