I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
