It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
