just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
