Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
