He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
ok first of all what the fuck
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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