Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
