whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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