Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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