Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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