she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
