Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
