If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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