You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
