yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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