Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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