i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
