I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
