Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize