yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
