You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
