Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
