But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
