You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
