hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
