...so i touched it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
