Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
