Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
