What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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