Yo dont text me then not text me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
