I'm jealous of your bromance
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
