I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Acid is not a monday night drug
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
