You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
we're so committed to being not committed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
