She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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