Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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