I puked a lego.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was confusing and full of hummus
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
