Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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