I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
