Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
