So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
