im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
