White coat. Heels.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The Olympian is in my bed
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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