You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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