Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
