at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
