So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
