haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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