I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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