I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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