This is not my ceiling
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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