yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
