Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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