I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize