My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
