She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
