my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
