I need help removing her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
