For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Bring me that man meat
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
