i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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