love makes seman taste better
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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