I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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