3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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