so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
