problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
