what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
